51

It has been a while since I have posted last. Turned fifty one in January and it has not gone well so far. Really hoped 2019 was gonna be a better year than the last years endured. Should have known it was going to be year beyond a rocky beginning. In general I have the luck of a man that seems to repeatedly say can’t anything go right. During that constant battle, dealing with life and all of its hurdles, the weight can be so over whelming at times the shoulders feel overloaded as well as blistered. This year came with sorrow to add to life’s general up and downs. On April 16th, my Mom passed away from cancer after a six month battle we hoped she would win. We knew even if the fight was good the outcome was just as it was. There never seems to be enough time to say goodbye when you have the chance. Some do not get that chance depending on the circumstance. If you do, don’t waste the last days of someone’s life. Ask all the questions, tell all the stories and be there with them. Because, when they are gone, all you have left are the memories you shared in life. Mom and I had a lot of those within the 51 years I’ve been here on this planet. A single mom, she tried and gave her best even when it was not easy. While teaching me the basics of respect, manners and the pride of being poor, making due to with what you have. She showed me adventure and travel, even if it meant she had to work a third job to do so. Although, 85 percent of our adventures did not cost a thing. Not going to say they were the best. Whether they are free or cost money, not all adventures turn out good. There is so much I could tell you about Mom, and I may in another post or two. For now, even on her death bed, she was more worried about me than herself. If she had only known what was coming after her early departure. Because I spent my time taking care of my mom in her remaining months, I basically had to close down my small handyman business. Someone had to be with her all the time, when family and friends could help out, I would take advantage by working or running errands. Mostly her last 2 months I was there by her side 24 hours a day. Hands down to my fiancĂ©e. She would work all day and then come home and help me out. In general when I introduce her I say this is my wife. We just have not taken our vows in front of a judge or clergyman due to life continuing to throw hurdles in our path. Besides loosing clients due to shutting down my business and mom passing, had to figure out what she left behind what was and wasn’t accounted for. It’s not easy having to go through someone’s life after they are gone. So much information that wasn’t told. During all this, you’re just wanting a break, a minute to breath but the life keeps the list growing. This must to be done, that still needs to be done. You have problems, your kids have problems, your kids need help with their problems, and then, to top it all off, your work truck breaks down when you’re trying to get back to work. The mind begins to spiral as you dream of a 10 minute break, but instead, the punches keep landing. You keep going, taking the punches. At times reflecting, but most of all hoping for a better tomorrow.

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