Category Archives: Whats New In My Mind

Rope

At the end of the rope
Ah let me be more specific
At the end of the rope hanging by a thread attached to that rope end

Hung from that rope many times in my life. Always had it in me to climb back up. Here lately as I’ve gotten closer to the end of the rope been doing a lot of thinking, contemplating and looking at the world.

Now I’m finger squeezing that thread as my feet dangle. Amazingly with my eyes wide open thinking, hell I’ve been at rock bottom as well. Wonder what would happen if I didn’t climb back up this time. Screw it just let them fingers slide right off this thread. Imagine that!

Tomorrow will always be a new day. Yesterday will always be the past and today is what I get through. Hell life story there ( What I got through ).

If you have never muttered the words ( it can’t get any worse ), well let me tell you it can. How ever you want to phrase it, up a creek without a paddle, end of your rope, hit rock bottom or …………

Even been asked well what ya gonna do now or been told you know what ya gotta do. Either way shake it off and keep going. You stand in that pile long enough you’ll just smell like it

So open your eyes, deep breath, mutter is that all you got and get to stepping. I imagine all the times I’ve been at the end of this rope, it should be just as interesting when my fingers slip from this thread.

Sparrow

Scattered ashes
Sparrows fly
Voice carries on the winds
Above blossoming four o’clock
Young man sheds a tear

banjo’s, drums and clarinets
she hums a hymn while tugging at her dress
Weeping flowers bend
She held her color, held her ground

to whispers singing
there is hope for thy
there is hope for thy
there is hope for thy

Darkness in sunlight and rain
Hurt on memories
Seeping laughter upon reflection
Pond full of

Marching side by side
We carry on
Her voice on the wind
above blossoming four o’clock

There is hope for thy
to whispers singing
I seen her fly as the sparrow
above scattered ashes

Myself is here

They are never gonna find us here
Your my witness to no trail
We hid in the shadows with in the moonlight
Silence was on the tongue

Now what

Hide here as long as I can
Reveal in the freedom that is
Spread my arms in the spring breeze
Slumber in the music of the world

They are going to find you

Bridge I will cross
Till then we are here
Feel the warmth that is not under the sun
Safety as if no one can reach

One day you are going to surrender

Surrender to what
Not in my nature
We would not know it
We were born free
Why should I give them their greed

Its not all that you run from

I am not running

True, your hiding

I am not hiding, I am relaxing
From the life that is
You are correct I can not lump them
Some are just needy
And some just do not know how to let go
So some of us just get by

How long

Well till I am interrupted
So for now I am gonna sit here
On my Island watching the day pass
Talking to you, I mean myself till something makes sense
In this world

Disappear

In this world
Of cruelty and splendor canvas
Where peace is found in simplest form
Inherit the day as it binds
Moments that do not return

Why is not the answer
Though suitable
Of why will I

Photos
Memories
Numb the thought
Dust in the wind
Time etched of your silhouette

Sadden may be the day
grazing opportunity not to
Open the grasp
See beyond the tips
Life even at, is just barely a sip

In this world
Of cruelty and splendor canvas
Why will I disappear

By: Robert Vardell

Abandoned

Find me in the darkness
No light to leave on
Promises from passers-by

Heart that burns low
Eyes that have traveled
Mind that is bound beyond

Understanding one day binds nothing
Lifetime of glancing
Name on the tip
Memory never found
Years have ticked
Pages on words
Road ridden stains
Dug in to color
Aside pain dances
Binding nothing one day knowing

That is beyond the mind
A traveled heart
In eyes that burn low

Swallowed by the darkness
A breath that is the wind
Particles a rye
I will go

Abandoned
Chimes among the toll

By; Robert Vardell 1/27/2015

Not Perfect

The world is not meant for perfect happiness

I am two steps away from being homeless
I am two steps away from being successful
Please do not sneeze I need successful

Look at the world
If it was meant
It would not be beautiful among its ugliness

If it was meant
It would not be beautiful among the greed and misguided
Everyone would be the same

I get one
So much to see
So much to do
Though trapped has been my destination

Daily I live
Daily I die
Daily I dream
Smile upon a frown

Look at the world
I get one
I am two steps away
I am in a world that is not meant for perfect happiness

By Robert Vardell

Is You

Sailed onto your blue
On the devils sleeve
Trying everything to restrain
A view distorted onto confusion
Puzzle that entangles within mystery

Hearts apart drawn by the stars
above soft spoken words
Though the view blurred
Of voices that are not heard
To pages read in increments

Onto your blue I sail
On the Devils palm I dance
Trying everything to restrain
Past the darkness fingers intertwine
Faded as a bright horizon hindering tearful souls
Dangling from its strands ripping the senses hair tumbles across the face
Held to be weaved in a rhythm 

Withering to knowing moments
above voices in hours of the night
Cleared in a window through
hearts are pulled to be heard
Voices tell of time that has became

I sailed onto a dance of blue
Dangling from the fingers of
Restraining my everything
The entangled puzzle I view
Is you

By Robert Vardell

Within

Broken up, torn and delivered
Tears escape from the flesh
Beneath wise eyes that bleed upon grace

Hello there within this

Weariness that encumbers as you just want to lay down to not rise
Knowing you can not cause so many mark the minute
Capturing another breath enforces the weariness
Home is not home, though stranded you gaze to stray
Exit seems so simple, though all that gathers make it complicated
As capturing another breath tiredness blankets

there within this

Long sigh in tall wheat I let the sun burn my eyes
Wind beats my ears in a reflection that stretches
The moon ravishes dreams onto slow dieing flesh
Fingers are swallowed into the clouds as a doves heart being skun

Within this goodbye

Tongue swallowed on gasping breath for unsaid
Stretching fingers breath the desire that is thrown
Unto the mind that swims the ocean not to catch

This within

By Robert Vardell

Dance on my ashes

Take a bow
I would do it all again
Its been a long introduction in a short time

Among the dead oak in tall reeds
Standing ankle deep as the crow sounds
Starring into myself
As a roaring flood I am not done till I am

In this life I do consider
Even if we hold hands at the end
I will journey alone
A trip of one last breath

Come one, come all
Bring the G.B.W
Start a bombfire and light the fireworks
Get loud, chant, yell, laugh and maybe I’ll hear you on my way
Say goodbye as I lived my life
With no treading regrets, just mistakes and lessons learned

Among the dead oak in tall reeds
Standing ankle deep as the crow sounds
Starring into myself
As a roaring flood I am not done till I am

In this life
Family and friends I have seen come and go
Never enough words
Never enough time
I do consider one last breath

Come one, come all
I have taken my last bow
Start a bonfire and light the fireworks
Say goodbye as I lived my life
I would do it all again

Trip of one last breath
Now maybe I will be free
By: Robert Vardell July / 23 / 2013

Goodbye

Life keeps flooding in
Take a deep breath
Does not feel like the first,
Days it feels it will be the last
Watch a butterfly, smell the roses, kiss the ashes
Throw em to the wind
Whats the next current?

Odds still seem to be the odds
Unfolding it plays
Sometimes like a scratched album
Kringled tape in a cassette or like an 8 track,
Skipping like a cd
Though it still pumps bass
Dreams seem to be a kick in the ass

Round the bend
Behind the mask
Life keeps flooding in
Take a deep breath
Does not feel like the first
Days it feels it will be the last
Lilly’s cast unto the stems of orchids, fireflies crackle in the breeze, kiss the dirt
Throw it to the wind
Whats the next current?

So many times I have kissed my ass goodbye
By: Robert Vardell